Has anger become a problem for you?
“Sometimes when i feel really angry, i think i might actually hit them and really do them some damage. I feel dreadful afterwards and really don’t like myself”
Feeling angry is a common human emotion. It is a natural response to being insulted, misled attacked, or frustrated.
The way we think plays a huge part in how we manage anger. Anger has its uses, but it can also be quite scary. When something makes you angry, adrenalin makes your body prepare for ‘fight or flight’, giving you energy to fight or run away and making you feel tense. This can then lead to you feeling aggressive. This response is useful if you was being threatened or attacked (and you was fighting to save your life) but it isn’t helpful in normal day-to-day situations and anger can make things worse rather than better.
Below is a picture that shows how this can happen
Most people feel anger from time to time but what is most important is how we manage it. It becomes a problem when it harms you or people around you. If you feel anger on a regular basis you should talk to friends and family about it as bottling up these types of emotions can be damaging.
If you can’t show your anger in a safe or constructive way it might lead to:
- depression or anxiety
- sleep problems
- alcohol or drug addictions
- digestion problems
- blood pressure – making it it too high.
It may be that something has made you angry from your past and you didn’t get the chance to show your anger at the time and that anger has become ‘bottled up’ or suppressed’.
Long term this can cause lots of problems as you may find that when something happens to annoy or upset you in the future, you feel extremely angry and respond more angrily than is needed. If you want to chat online with someone about anything that’s worrying you click here to use the Childline chat that works like MSN messenger. This is for young people up to and including 19 years old.
Violence and aggression
Angry feelings can sometimes lead to violent behaviour which can be very frightening and damaging for people around you – especially children. This could damage the relationships with family or friends and mean that you could become isolated.
If you feel that anger is affecting you and those around you, look at getting some help. There are a number of ways to get help such as talking treatments. Talking treatments are usually some form of counselling or psychotherapy.
A counsellor or psychotherapist can help you lookat the reasons why you feel angry. Talking can help you work through your feelings and help change your behaviour in situations that make you angry.
- Counselling tends to look at current problems, while psychotherapy tends to go deeper into past experiences.
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is a particularly practical approach to dealing with your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. It helps you looks at how you think about things (Cognitive) and how this affects your life (behaviour). It then looks at how you can change any patterns of thinking or behaviour that may be causing you difficulties.
You may be able to get a talking treatment on the NHS, by being referred by your GP.
Below are different local and national services that can offer you support. They are a mixture of helplines, websites and places in your area that can help.